Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life. Show all posts

Friday, August 19, 2016

Do you think you know listening?

True listening is an ART form and a skill. We are NOT born with it. It is what everyone should try to excel in as it would benefit them in everything they do. I thought I was a good listener until Jack Zenger and Joseph Folkman wrote this article that articulates what listening actually is.




Apart from eye contact, not interrupting, head nodding, taking notes, or the typical one-way interaction, it also includes:

1) asking questions that promote discovery and insight in a constructive manner

2) includes a two-way dialog rather than a one-way interaction like "speaker vs hearer"

3) builds a person's self esteem by making the other feel supported, conveyed confidence and trust

4) challenges the assumption and can disagree, not wanting to win an argument but on a helping tone

5) provides feedback and open up other alternative paths to reconsider using suggestions as option method

6) using the word "allow" - "if you allow me to..." makes the person feel secure and trusted

7) is not judgmental and does not provoke the other to frustrations

8) creates a safe environment of trust

9) clears distractions like mobile devices, laptops and making eye contact

10) restate issues to confirm correct understanding

11) observes non verbal cues like facial expressions, perspiration, respiration rates, gestures, posture, and numerous other subtle body language signals

12) empathizing and validates their feelings

13) never high jack the conversation to turn the real issue to something else

Source

Friday, December 21, 2012

What Christmas Means

Christmas is a day to be reflective and planning for the next year ahead. What can be done better? How can we move forward to make a difference in another person's life as well as our own? Isn't it wonderful if you can make Christmas, a day in every month. The gift of giving is from the heart: when and where we can.

Sometimes it requires sacrifices and that is the best kind of giving and in secret too. Wow... that is the most awesome kind, without expectations and rewards. It is rare to be in that mindset but blessed those who have that kind of ability to be selfless and giving. For people like that has to be cherish. For they are precious.

I am into rain deers for some reason. I find them cute and adorable, specially in this season. I am also thinking of hanging a white and large moose head in my bedroom. Just imaging... waking up to Frankie... uhmmm...


Enjoy your holiday season for it comes once in a year. Merry Christmas and a great New Year 2013.

Monday, April 9, 2012

WE EACH HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO DO SOMETHING BEYOND OUR WILDEST IMAGINATION, AS LONG AS WE’RE PREPARED TO MAKE IT HAPPEN ON ANY GIVEN MOMENT OF OUR LIVES.

How to Create Momentum

Momentum is needed to feel growth and existence when you have a career. Believe me, a career is not just a job. You can have many jobs... or experiences. But all these adds up to your the building of your career, what you want in your life. That to some people is happiness and satisfaction.

Here is the formula to the creation of momentum:
Momentum=Goals + Attitude, Skill Set, Action and Network

1. Determine what you want
2. Approach each task with that goal in mind
3. Gain knowledge on how to accomplish it
4. Get in motion - means action and not sit your your butt
5. Surround yourself with people who supports you and are liked mind
Never surrender to circumstances. There’s always another path to discover or create.

Friday, March 16, 2012

Let's Blame God For Our Mistakes

Today as I thought about why people like to blame God for the world’s crap that is going on, makes me angry at the stupidity of intelligent men. Men who think they are scientist and intelligent beings. How could someone so intelligent be so idiotic?

The common question is if God is so powerful and so wonderful, why did he make little kids die? Or cause a holocaust? Or war? Etc.?

These kinds of unthinking questions make the mind so lazy. Just think again… How come men do not accept responsibilities for their own actions? If people choose to be evil and take that path of greed that destroys humanity, then blame people and their actions. Why throw your hands up to heaven and say… oh why did God permit this to happen? The question is why are not men fighting back for their cause when injustice is done to them? Why can’t men use their brains to negotiate a peace treaty? Why are people not doing something instead of sitting on their asses?

God gives us choices; we decide where we want our lives to be. To reach a certain goal, we must do things that build the foundation so that we can reach that destination. We cannot control unforeseen circumstance, but we can prepare for it, to prevent it or to let it happen and learn from the situation. If there is a roadblock ahead, take another way that is the path of least resistance.

Do we really know where we are going in life? Or are we just scattered and wondering aimlessly, following people because we do not know the way…

Maybe we should ask ourselves, what is our purpose in life? What do we want to do in our last days? What kind of lifestyle do we want to have? How do we want to be remembered when we are gone?

Sometimes, we need to stop and ask ourselves why we are doing this job? Why are we being so intolerance to another person? Instead of blaming others, as we cannot change them, how about taking the responsibility and say what can I does that will make a difference in other people’s life?

At Work
What can I do that will add value to the company? (global thinking)

What can I do to make my boss life easier?
By taking the initiative to do better that what my boss expect, to make my boss/department look good and achieving the goals and objective that is set in a successful way, resulting in fruitful results.

What can I do to make my direct report’s life better? How can I be a better leader of example? How can I add value to each employee growth?

At Home
How can I make my relationship be stronger with my kids and spouse?
How can I initiate independence so things can run while I am not around?
How can I be a good influence?
What can I do to satisfy or help my spouse or family make life easier and not stress out?
How can I improve myself so that I can be better at helping others or the situation?

Within us
Do I give enough time to my reflections and meditation?
Am I moving at 200 miles per hr. that I neglect to take care of myself?
Am I eating the right food that to get the right nutrition for my body?
Am I getting the right exercise so that my body is circulating in a healthy way?
Am I learning and reading enough so that I can improve and share the knowledge?
How can I continue to be a blessing to others?
How can I be wiser?
How can I be a good influence to others?
Am I giving freely and not selfishly?

Life is about scheduling and prioritizing. Do this well and you can get a balance life. For life is always a fine balance.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

The Venus Project

The Venus Project advocates an alternative vision for a sustainable new world civilization unlike any social-economic system that has gone before. It calls for a straightforward redesign of a culture, in which the age-old inadequacies of war, poverty, hunger, debt, and unnecessary human suffering are viewed not only as avoidable, but totally unacceptable.



Jacque Fresco: Futurist
Mr. Fresco's background includes industrial design and social engineering, as well as being a forerunner in the field of Human Factors. Mr. Fresco has worked as both designer and inventor in a wide range of fields spanning from biomedical innovations to totally integrated social systems.

The Venus Project reflects the culmination of Jacque Fresco's life work: the integration of the best of science and technology into a comprehensive plan for a new society based on human and environmental concern. It is a global vision of hope for the future of humankind in our technological age.

A major documentary, titled Future By Design, on the life, designs and philosophy of Jacque Fresco in now available. This is produced by Academy Award Nominated and Emmy Winning filmmaker, William Gazecki. The film Zeitgeist Addendum featuring Jacque Fresco and The Venus Project produced by Peter Joseph was recently released. It can be viewed at www.zeitgeistaddendum.com

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Energy Transference

I believe that we, our DNA are made up of our ancestors and generations before that. Just think about it...

As such, we have the power to choose all the best things that are given to us and use it to our best ability to live in this world. Life and all the experiences, good or bad are a learning curve. Happiness is to be cherished. Hurt needs to be healed and learned. Anger needs to be recognized and dissipated. Joy is to be celebrated. Deceit needs to be confronted and understood. Excitement needs to be exacerbated and watched. We all have the range of emotions and we do have the power to control and influence the negative or positive emotion.

Our parents have a great influence on who we are. If our parents make many comments that we are stupid, we will grow up thinking we are stupid and insecure. Or we may reject it totally and go the other way. If our parents show uncontrollable anger in the family, we could think it is also alright to do so and grow up applying that behavior to others. All these negative emotions/ energies have a way to manifest itself and contaminate others. It may not be in our earlier life but it may happen later, perhaps with a significant other... that too could be affecting us. If they have a negative impact on us... we need to recognize it, go against it, stop it or move away from it.

Both energies negative and positive are contagious. It is better to let the positive energy flow to others because that will impact work, life, relationships, the economy and the world. Negativity will only cause destruction unhappiness and wasted lives.

I did not fully understand the laws of attraction until I met this very incredible thinker and philosopher. Now I believe that it has been around but I just don't know or understand it. The laws of attraction will attract whatever state of mood/energy we are in. It could be attracting people who have the same energy or people that need help.

Meeting people of like energy, re-enforce the manifestations, like recharging batteries. Meeting people that need your energy is more of a giving process, when you are aware of their needs, give it selflessly. Meeting people that take your energy leaves you tired, drained and depressed. This is unwelcoming. We all have these kinds of energies within us... yet again, we can control these manifestations and become who we really are and need to be. There is too much negativity out there. We need to strive for the positive and be better persons, bringing the best versions in others and yourselves.

All these energies can be shown in mindful actions and words. It is as simple and obvious as that. Hard to do but not impossible through striving and being mindful.

It is being conscious of what we say and do. Thinking and reflecting, slow to speak and listening more intently. We are all very special and many ways. We do not need to downplay others or show them up to make ourselves feel good. We need to appreciate who we are because we are made differently and are special. Don't ever forget that. You are powerful and wonderful. Celebrate you, today and every day. Then give back, to show appreciation to others, to recognize that no matter how bad people are, they too, have a special quality in them that is hidden because it has not been discovered yet as they have been inflicted by too much negative baggage from others.

Cast out that negative carp that your loved one has inflicted on you as a child or as an adult and focus on being the best versions of yourself.  And No you do not like being with angry drama queens/kings. That is a bad habit that should be shed away.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Teaching Capitalism to African Women

Another inspiring speech by
Jacqueline Novogratz

Listening is also about being quiet to let people talk and also asking questions.

To be Inspired the Right Way

How to make a difference in the world is to be a leader who begins with a good intend. More with Jacueline Novogratz.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Choices That Shape Your Life

Wherever you are in life or business is a result of the choices you have made.
While there are outside forces that create setbacks, it is still your choice as to how you will respond to those incidents that determine whether or not you climb forward or fall behind.

The Choice to Grow
Growth is not automatic. You must choose to remain teachable, to work hard on yourself. When you choose not to grow, or have an attitude that you know everything, you become stale, arrogant and will plateau.

The Choice to Give
Giving your time, expertise and resources without expecting anything in return is an unselfish choice. The world needs more givers. Amazingly enough, when you focus more on the wants and needs of others more of your own wants and needs are met.
 The Choice to Listen
One of the best ways to build a connection with others is to listen to them. Take the focus off yourself and focus on the other person. This draws others to you because you place importance on others.

When you choose to do all the talking, you rarely build strong, or sustainable relationships. You are a turn-off and people will avoid you.

The Choice to Make a Difference
Making a difference by adding value to others is a choice. Similar to its cousin, giving, making a difference goes a step further by causing you to leave others and the world better than you found it. It goes beyond crossing the finish line by yourself and causes you to bring others across the line with you. On the other hand, when you choose to live in a selfish world, absorbed only with your own problems, after you die, it will be as though you never lived. You added value to nothing and impacted no one.

The Choice to Take Care of Your Health
It is said that your body is your temple, but many people treat it like an outhouse. On the way to get more and more, they sell out one key thing that money cannot buy: Physical well-being.

Make no mistake about it: Exercising or not, is a choice. Putting the donut in your mouth or not is a choice. The same going for smoking or drinking. The earlier life you decide to develop the discipline to live a healthy lifestyle, the better your health is in the long run.

Life is all about the choices you choose to make that shape who and what you are.

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Is Graduating Important?

Education is not just about numbers but the application of what is learned, and that the individual has proven consistent performance of brilliance... and great understanding.
The numbers are a measurement of achievement and the proof of completion of school.

The ideal is of course to have both.
People are always so quick to judge what is wrong and right. I challenge a deeper thought in understanding.

There is a great American movie that instills thought. I give it a 5 star rating. Catch it on Netflciks:
Click Here:
The Bells of St Mary


or You Tube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7MctafuXLho

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Thoughts of Wisdom

"Forgiveness is the highest form of forgetting because it is forgetting in spite of remembering."
- Paul Tillich


Decide How Your Life Should Be


One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves. One is evil. It is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf wins?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

Monday, November 1, 2010

Eradicate the Me Factor

My best thoughts come to me in the wee hours in the morning when I am awoken by the causes of the "me factor". Everything should be in balance like the yin and yang. I think right now we could do less with selfishness and bring the best versions of others and ourselves. If only everyone could just reach out to just one person in a week... This would make the world a better place... and it does not have to be money. It could be a positive thing to say, to encourage, to motivate, to compliment sincerely etc. Once in our life, we should do something of value or a purpose. And I am so glad that there are people who are already doing things to change the world and we need more people to join in the campaign to eradicate the "Me Factor".

I encourage people to be more thinking souls. To make good decisions, not because of a stronger influence.. or to agree just to agree... or just to be in the group to be liked, but to believe in what is right, what is good and how it better the overall well being of others. To stand out because you believe it is the right thing to do. That takes huge courage. Be the change and be that person!

We hear stories like that in the past and sure enough we need to do more today than yesterday. Do not hide who you are but let the stronger you come out. Do not let past negative comments affect your life but to smash those thoughts to bits and focus on the positive things you can do to help each other. For when you are helping each other, you are in fact helping yourself. You are building your character and making a difference in the world.

When the Giants lost on Saturday, I can tell that people were nervous, their faith was wavering, they blame silly things to compensate for their ill feelings... these are the moments when people need to have more faith and believe... truly believe... using all their will and cheer to uplift the energy of support to the Giants team. You will be surprised how far this innate energy can travel and penetrate far and wide. People should not be angry when the team is weak but to hope, encourage and support the team. I believe in making loud good positive noises sing if you will, to help the discouraging team. It is not nervous silence the Giants want to hear but to hear that the people are behind them makes a great difference and impact. People work for each other by nature. People love to please to be appreciated or respected. That is the basic rule of nature.

I know that the Giants will win the game for I believe. What about you?

Monday, August 16, 2010

Believing You Can Be Smarter Actually Makes You Smarter

It's no surprise that self confidence plays an important role in our performance, but findings published by the American Psychological Association suggest all it takes to boost your smarts is believing that you can be smarter.

Despite a lot of evidence to the contrary, many people believe that intelligence is fixed, and, moreover, that some racial and social groups are inherently smarter than others. Merely evoking these stereotypes about the intellectual inferiority of these groups (such as women and Blacks) is enough to harm the academic [performance] of members of these groups. Social psychologist Claude Steele and his collaborators (2002) have called this phenomenon "stereotype threat."

Yet social psychologists Aronson, Fried, and Good (2001) have developed a possible antidote to stereotype threat. They taught African American and European American college students to think of intelligence as changeable, rather than fixed - a lesson that many psychological studies suggests is true. Students in a control group did not receive this message. Those students who learned about IQ's malleability improved their grades more than did students who did not receive this message, and also saw academics as more important than did students in the control group.

Racial, gender, and social stereotypes aside, it's a good bit of information to keep in mind next time you run into a stumbling block in your work, studies, or hobbies. Your smarts aren't set in stone, and simply believing that can significantly improve your ability to learn.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

How to plan for retirement

 I think it is important to plan for retirement. Even how young you are, it good to have a plan for the future. This article is good as it builds an awareness for us...  but I think it lacks the calculation and the formula...
However, it is a general good guide and good read.

> Check this out

Saturday, June 26, 2010

The Better America

I really think that Americans do have a heart of gold... the people I meet anyway. These kind of people, rare as they come, are the building blocks of what true America stands for. I remember going to a store, to fix my antique lamp. This guy helped me all the way, changing the fixtures of the light bulb, and everything else just to make it work again... all the way... what dedication, what customer service... and I did not even have to pay a thing. That was such a treat and I will never forget such kindness.

What about people who cannot afford things but they give whatever they have just to help you out... and don't even know you... they do not want anything in return or expect anything... those gestures are very rare and so heartfelt... These are to me, people of grace and generosity... are indeed the fundamentals of being beautiful.

The passion of giving, of service, of compassion are one of the greatest qualities a human can ever possess.

I really think that the present America needs more people like that, we need to come together and build this nation again, a nation of kindness and compassion, doing away with the "I" but more about the "you"... helping each other and making better version of others and ourselves.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Brian Skerry reveals ocean's glory-and horror

About Brian Skerry
Brian Skerry is a photojournalist who captures images that not only celebrate the mystery and beauty of the sea but also bring attention to the pressing issue which endanger our oceans. Full bio and more links


Tuesday, April 27, 2010

25 Lessons from Seth Godin

I love Seth Godin Philosophies and a couple of them are:

1) Success is a skill. Seth’s philosophy on success is — “it’s possible to enjoy your job, to do the right thing, to be transparent, to give more than you get and to be successful, all at the same time.” It takes work. Surround yourself with people who are succeeding. You become who you hang with. By surrounding yourself with people who are succeeding, you’ll learn what’s working and what’s not. You can model their success and open doors that you might otherwise not see. Seth on successful people – “”Successful people rarely confuse a can-do attitude with a smart plan. But they realize that one without the other is unlikely to get you very far.”

2) Being the best is the best place to be. It’s better to be the best. People pick the market leaders and they narrow their choices to the top. Seth says, “Being the best in the world is seriously underrated.” According to Seth, best in the world is relative – “It’s best for them, right now based on what they believe and in their world, the one they have access to.”

{ I'd say: be the best you can be and the word is STRIVE... }

In the Dip, Seth shares 7 reasons why you might fail to become the best in the world:
a) You run out of time,
b) you run out of money,
c) you get scared,
d) you’re not serious about it,
e) you lose interest or enthusiasm and settle for being mediocre,
f) you focus on the short term instead of the long,
g) you pick the wrong thing at which to be the best in the world.


3) Be missed. Seth on how to be missed — “Connect, create meaning, make a difference, matter, be missed.”

4) Success is a hierarchy. Seth teaches us the hierarchy of success:
a) Attitude, b) Approach, c) Goals, d) Strategy, d) Tactic,s f) Execution

5) Don’t do A as a calculated tactic to get B. Do A because you believe in it.
Seth on success – “If we define success as the ability to make a living doing what I do, I’d say the following:
a) No ulterior motive. I rarely do A as a calculated tactic to get B. I do A because I believe in A, or it excites me or it’s the right thing to do. That’s it. No secret agendas,
b) I don’t think my audience owes me anything. It’s always their turn,
c) I’m in a hurry to make mistakes and get feedback and get that next idea out there. I’m not in a hurry, at all, to finish the “bigger” project, to get to the finish line,
d) I do things where I actually think I’m right, as opposed to where I think succeeding will make me successful. When you think you’re right, it’s more fun and your passion shows through,
e) I’ve tried to pare down my day so that the stuff I actually do is pretty well leveraged. That and I show up. Showing up is underrated.”

6) Be in it for the long haul. Things rarely come easy. Make the journey worth it. Chip away at success. Seth says — “Listen instead to your real customers, to your vision and make something for the long haul. Because that’s how long it’s going to take, guys.”

7) Decide if you’re a freelancer or entrepreneur. In the Bootstrapper’s Bible, Seth teaches us that a freelancer sells their talents. While they may have a few employees, they’re doing a job without a boss, but not running a business. There’s no exit strategy or pot of gold, but they make their own hours and be their own boss. Examples include layout artists, writers, consultants, film editors, landscapers, architects, translators, and musicians. Seth writes that an entrepreneur is trying to build something bigger than themselves. They take calculated risk and focus on growth. An entrepreneur is willing to receive little pay, work long hours, and take on great risk in exchange for the freedom to make something big, something that has real market value.

8) It’s like walking through a maze. Seth on building a business from scratch — “Learn as you go. Change as you go. Building a business from scratch is like walking through a maze with many, many doors. Once you open one, 100 new doors present themselves. As you move your way through the maze, you need to stop and check your location. Look at a map. If you’re in the wrong place move. But if you’ve discovered a new place, there’s nothing wrong with exploiting it.”

9) Everyone is not your customer. Seth teaches us the key to failure – “the key to failure is trying to please everyone.” Listen to your real customers. It’s not the media, the investors, or the early adopters. Seth on everyone is not your customer – “The media wants overnight successes (so they have someone to tear down). Ignore them. Ignore the early adopter critics that never have enough to play with. Ignore your investors that want proven tactics and predictable instant results. Listen instead to your real customers …” Seth on figuring out what your customers really want — “Most people have no clue what they want, and if you ask them, you’ll get a lame answer. Most people don’t know they want Pretty Woman or Slumdog Millionaire. They don’t know they want Purple Cow or one of your killer articles. So if you want to have an impact, all you can do is lead. You can’t ask.”

These are the 10 things I take from his 25 lessons and more of it can be found on:
http://lnkd.in/dNjR-5