Being Alive

Life is a self-revelation. It is about revealing yourself to people around the world and around us. Even the things we do not say and do does reveal something about us. Life is about sharing ourselves with humanity at this moment in history.

Human beings yearn above all else for intimacy. Yet, we are afraid to reveal our intimate story, because we may think it is a sign of weakness, rejection, being love less or revealing our secrets. We are afraid to allow others into our minds hearts and souls. We are afraid to be ourselves. With this fear begins great deception. Fear gives birth to deception and pretense. We are all flawed and all have faults. None of us is perfect.

Our willingness to share our weakness is a tremendous sign of faith that encourages other people to let down their guard. Great relationships help us remember our stories of who we are, where we come from and what enables us to be who we are now.

We desire this happiness and sometimes confuse intimacy for pleasure and possession. Without intimacy all riches in the world cannot satisfy our hungry hearts and until we get it, our hearts remain restless, irritable and discontented.

Being intimate allows another person to discover what moves us, what inspires us, what drives us, what eats us, what we are running towards or from, what the silent self destructive enemies lie within us or what wild and wonderful dreams hold in our hearts.

To be truly intimate with another person is to share every single aspect of your self with that person. We have to be willing to take off our mask and let down our guard, to set aside our pretenses and to share what is shaping us or directing our lives. This is a greatest gift we can give to another human being is to allow him or her to simply see us for who we are, with our strengths, weakness, our faults, flaws defects, talents, abilities, achievements and potential.

Intimacy requires that we allow another person into our hearts, minds and soul. In its purest form, it is a complete and un-restraining sharing of self. That is what our primary relationship should be. It is a process of mutual self-revelation that inspires us to give to ourselves completely to another person i.e. LOVE.

There are FOUR levels to intimacy that needs to be satisfies and they are the physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual aspect of our lives. 

Physical Intimacy 

The first level of intimacy can be a simple handshake, a touch on a shoulder or arm, or a kiss on the check. By doing those gestures it can create a feeling of closeness, even oneness. Just imagine how extraordinary the oneness must be when 2 people engaged in a sexual intercourse. 

The bond created between man and women through lovemaking and the pain people feel when they are separated from each other or torn apart. With each sexual encounter, we leave a piece of ourselves with the other person. With many break ups, this creates the sense of being pulled in different directions, torn into two pieces, which produces disorientation. Sex alone does not equal to intimacy. 

Emotional Intimacy
The second aspect of intimacy is emotional. This is much harder to achieve. It requires humility and vulnerability. Not many of us are comfortable with this in the beginning. If we have been betrayed in the past, this may take longer to achieve. Our opinions, feelings, fears, and dreams are something we guard close to our hearts. However, this fear can be overcome by letting ourselves face the fear itself.

Intellectual Intimacy
People who have similar views may establish intellectual intimacy faster in the beginning of the relationship. Similar views in what you believe, not necessarily identical viewpoints can sustain a vibrant relationship. A nonjudgmental environment and keeping an open mind is an important part of establishing intellectual intimacy. Too often we prejudge people because of an idea they express. The secret is to see beyond the idea itself and discover what has caused a person to believe that such an idea is good, true, noble, just, or beautiful. It is not what people believe or think but why they think and believe what they do. It is knowing how a person thinks—what drives, inspires and motivates his or hers ideas and opinions.

Spiritual Intimacy
Spiritual Intimacy begins with respect for each other. It is the blossoming idea that the lover will do everything within his or her power to help each other become the best version of himself or herself. This is the first obligation and responsibility of a relationship is to help each other achieve our essential purpose. Spiritual intimacy is best approached as an open-minded adventure in which we discover the truth of every situation and apply it to help each other be the best of who we are. 

The essence of spirituality is growing virtues. Virtues make all respectful relationship possible. Two patient people make better relationship than two impatient people. Two forgiving people make better relationship than two unforgiving one. Two faithful will always have a better relationship than two unfaithful people. 

Virtue makes great relationships for life. Virtue is the foundation of character. It means patience, kindness, humility, gentleness, forgiveness and love. This creates life of passion and purpose.

The opposite are whims, cravings, fancies, illegitimate wants and selfish desires. This kind of spiritual intimacy creates irritable, restlessness and a discontented life.

This kind of intimacy is the hardest to achieve but the most rewarding as this grows, it elevates the physical, emotional and intellectual intimacy much more.

All levels of intimacy should grow at the steady pace or there could result in imbalance that creates distortion in our relationship.

Too often we make a monumental mistake of thinking we know the person. We forget that intimacy is a life long process and it is a process of discovering and  rediscover each other as our personalities and individuality changes over time.

Intimacy is not always about seeing new things. Sometimes, it is about seeing what has always been before you... but in different light from a new perspective.